Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Debtors say the darnest things: a few of the things i have been told & how i have actually replied to them... (yeah yeah yeah - i'm a bitch i know)

you debt collectors are the scum of the earth
thats right - and considering you owe US money it puts you below us scum of the earth on the food chain mate

you have such a sexy voice - you should be a phone-sex girl
i already am - this job is all about screwing people out of their money over the phone

i got it wrong okay! So sue me!
um, yeah, okay - i sorta already am...

you'll never get the money coz you'll never find me (this was actually a local celebrity)
you present the news LIVE every night - its not too hard to find the studio you know

do you know who i am? (self important git!)
yeah, the idiot who didn't pay their repayments and who's car i am repossessing

you can't get blood out of stone
ahhh you're right - good thing i'm not a vampire... i don't need blood - i'm a debt collector - i'll just take the stone's car & garnish it's wages

i know my rights - i wanna speak to my lawyer (someone who watches WAY too many cop shows)
thats nice - i'm not arresting you - though i would appreciate it if you took up the right to remain silent and just paid the money

what are you gonna do, take the shirt off my back? (when explaining what we were listing on a goods seizure & sale warrant)
if its any of the Gucci or channel shirts - yep. they'll be coming with me too.

i'm the customer - don't you know the customer is always right
that's exactly right - my customer is always right. thank you for showing that you understand the matter, especially as my customer is ____bank and you are my debtor.... good to hear you admit to the debt and are willing to defend the banks actions in bringing in a debt collector

i'm gonna call you everyday and make your life hell for being a debt collector
ok sir. now just to clarify something, you work as a car sales man at ____ don't you? cool - coz i'm gonna call you every day and make YOUR life hell for being a dodgy car sales rep... whats good for the goose is good for the gander after all

don't you have any sympathy for me?
the only place you're gonna find sympathy is in the dictionary between shit & syphillis

sorry i missed the payment - christmas sorta snuck up on me this year
really? that's strange = last i heard christmas was on the same day for the last 2000 years!!! i didn't know it had decided to pick up and move around this year... you might wanna be careful if christmas is doing that - easter might jump you in a back alley next year...


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Blogger Phil Grahm Salt said...

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